When Animals Predict… And The Super Bowl Winner Is: Niners!
SAN FRANCISCO (CBS SF) — One Super Bowl tradition that has been growing faster than trying to eat your weight in chicken wings is that of having psychic animals predict the winner through a variety of methods of selection.
So if you really want to know which team will take home this year’s Lombardi trophy, don’t look to Las Vegas or your local bookie for the answer, let the avalanche of animal kingdom predictions for Super Bowl XLVII begin:
Princess the Camel — who lives in a zoo in New Jersey — made her selection for this year’s champion, and it is the Baltimore Ravens. Why trust a camel with a Super Bowl prediction you might ask? Supporters claim she’s been right six of the last seven years (her only loss was picking the Colts over the Saints in 2009), but if you’re David Letterman you just might call it “stupid camel picks.” The 26-year-old clairvoyant camel makes her choices by gobbling graham crackers out of a zookeeper’s hand — each marked with a different team name. It’s also worth noting that Baltimore isn’t that far from New Jersey, so the camel is basically a homer.
In what may be a furry conspiracy of epic proportions, Mr. Nuts the Cat in Fremont joins the Jersey camel in predicting a Baltimore Ravens win. This black-and-white spokescat for Five Pet Place, a Bay Area company that specializes in luxury pet products, uses his back end to pick a winner. This traitor cat’s owner set up two identical litter boxes, marking them for the respective teams. Hopefully, you now get the dirty picture of how this plays out. Aside from being a less than pristine picking method, who can ever really tell what cats might be thinking when they are using the litter box – after all, when you gotta go, you gotta go.
But not to fret feline faithful lovers, a more advanced selection method was used by the Feline Trio of Galaga, Moro and Zila at the Cat Adoption Team shelter in Oregon. The cats each chose food from a red bowl, representing the San Francisco 49ers, instead of a black bowl for that other team. For the last four Super Bowls, cats at this animal shelter have successfully picked the winner.
Saibu the Orangutan at the Fresno zoo has made her pick: it’s also the San Francisco 49ers. A specially decorated Super Bowl box with blankets from each team was put in her enclosure and when Siabu spotted it, this smart orangutan immediately went and pulled out the 49ers blanket. Word has it that Saibu was almost as fast on her feet as Colin Kaepernick, but to the best of our knowledge – sans tattoo. This is the fourth year the zoo has had Siabu make a Super Bowl pick and zoo officials say she’s been right two-thirds of the time with past selections.
A contrarian selection was made by Elijah the Orangutan at the Hogle Zoo in Utah. He picked the Baltimore Ravens by knocking down a paper marked with the team’s logo. Apparently primates aren’t as intelligent in Utah. Elijah has reportedly been five-for-five, but in picking what? That remains unclear.
The much smarter Saki Monkeys Trio at Moody Gardens Rainforest in Texas are picking the San Francisco 49ers to win the big game. Using iPads, two of the monkeys made their selections by painting on the 49ers logo. The third, named Frankie, showed his feelings on the game by placing unhappy faces on the Ravens logo. In other words, it was a unanimous decision scored by this highly advanced and tech-savvy jury — with absolutely no ‘monkey business’ involved.
No great surprise that the Maryland Zoo Chimpanzees think the Baltimore Ravens are going to win Sunday’s Super Bowl. Keepers put up two paper banners in the chimps’ enclosure, one for the Ravens and another for the 49ers. The zoo’s 11 chimpanzees were then allowed in to the enclosure and reportedly first ripped off a piece of the Baltimore banner, signaling their obviously biased prediction.
Tamba the Warthog at the Fort Worth Zoo was presented with two papier-mâché footballs with treats inside — one representing each team. After considering his options, Tamba didn’t seem to mind eating the carrots and biscuits inside the San Francisco 49ers‘ makeshift football. Zoo officials said Tamba was selected over other animals to do the pickin’ because of his ‘pigskin.’
Ozzy the Grizzly Bear at the Zoo of Montana selected the Baltimore Ravens. He was given a pair of banana pies, a Ravens one and a 49ers one. This bear chose the Ravens pie. One has to believe the bear’s decision wasn’t one of sound mind; we’re sure he was probably groggy when he was awakened during hibernation season to make a selection and like Yogi probably would’ve preferred a picnic basket. This pick is just plain bananas!
Razz the Red Panda at the Blank Park Zoo in Iowa is smarter than your average bear (namely Ozzy). He’s on top of his game with his pick of the San Francisco 49ers and the zoo’s perfect 3-0 record with past Super Bowl selections. Razz picked treats box #1 with the Niners logo over box #2 and the Ravens icon. He had no interest in playing ‘Let’s Make A Deal’ and refused to trade his box with another Red Panda who wanted nothing to do with what was behind box #2 and thus, declined to make a selection.
Boone the Rhino at the SF Zoo made it clear that his hometown San Francisco 49ers are going to be successful in their “Quest For Six.” Boone was served up a feast of Baltimore Ravens logo shaped food, but he passed in favor of carrots set up to spell out “Go Niners.” Clearly a devoted member of the 49er Faithful, Boone would be welcome to dine with other fans at any Niners tailgate gathering.
Manatees Hugh and Buffett at the Mote Marine Laboratory in Florida have picked the Baltimore Ravens to win the big game. They both swam up to a target marked with the team logo and nudged it. Buffett has picked the correct team for the last five Super Bowls, or so they say. No one talked about Hugh’s prognostication record, so we fathom it can’t be very reliable.
In terms of sea creatures, we prefer Gabby the Sea Turtle at Ripley’s Aquarium in South Carolina. Her more enlightened pick was the San Francisco 49ers. She chose the 49ers team logo on a card, and this was no ‘card trick.’
Emma the Otter at the Audubon Aquarium in New Orleans threw her favorite mini-football into a bucket to predict the winner. This representative of the host city for Super Bowl XLVII chose the San Francisco 49ers. We rate Emma’s pick much higher than many of the others because she has insider knowledge of what it’s actually like to play football in the Big Easy and score!
Since we’re talking about water sports, Captain Skipper the Diving Dog of Tampa Bay (the other Bay Area) dove down underwater in his owner’s home pool and selected between two flags to crown the San Francisco 49ers as Super Bowl champions. This lucky labrador already has a track record this year in naming football champs. He successfully picked the winner of the BCS National Championship game in college football utilizing the same identical selection method.
Molly the Rescue Labrador, who’s up for adoption at the Humane Society of Midland County in Michigan, has predicted the Baltimore Ravens to win. There was no word on the methodology used to make her pick. Perhaps Molly ‘adopted’ the Ravens because she thinks they will be good for business – the ‘rescue’ business that is. With the way Kaepernick and company have been playing, the Ravens defense may need to be rescued to stand a shot at winning.
While on the topic of canines, a group of five Late Night Show Puppies with TV host Jimmy Fallon had two bowls of food to choose from. They were a little hesitant at first, but then these so-called “puppy predictors” chose the Baltimore Ravens. Of course, Fallon’s show airs on ABC, which is neither America’s most watched network or the home of the Super Bowl. Thus, we chalk this whole stunt up to a desperate ratings ploy aimed at attracting East Coast viewers.
Finally, Saturday was Groundhog Day and on this Super Bowl Eve, Wynter the Groundhog at the Milwaukee Zoo made two important prognostications to the huge crowd that gathered. When Wynter failed to see her shadow it means an early Spring is on the way “and she’s also predicting the San Francisco 49ers by 10,” said Wynter’s longtime handler. When asked the reason behind her pick (since presumably this Wisconsin woodchuck would be a Packers fan), the keeper replied: “Something about Ravens that woodchucks don’t like.” We concur, something about Ravens that many of us don’t like this year.
ANIMAL BOWL FINAL SCORE: NINERS 9, RAVENS 8. Super Bowl win #6 – here we come, at least that’s what a little birdie told us. LOL.
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