Redwood City Teen Overcomes Bullying To Help Other Victims

REDWOOD CITY (KPIX 5)  -- Julissa Cruz Guitierrez looks confident and in control as she and her team partner stand in front of their AP Government class, leading a discussion.

They are talking about police brutality and Julissa asks each table to discuss the assignment.

Julissa is an honor student at Summit Prep Charter School in Redwood City. As we watched her walk around the class and solicit answers, it's hard to believe she is deaf.

Her long shiny hair covers her hearing devices and her speech is normal. She lip reads, so as her classmates speak, she has to make sure she can see their faces.

Later when we sat down for an interview, she took out each device to show us. She is very matter of fact about it -- not ashamed or shy about it in the least.

"So my left ear I have a cochlear implant," she explained. "I have a hearing aid in my right ear."

She has some hearing in the right ear.

"When you look at Julissa, you see a tremendously successful, beautiful articulate woman," said her teacher and mentor, Maren Adler. " I don't think you have any impression of how hard she fights everyday to be as successful as she is."

Julissa has had to learn to advocate for herself at school. For example, she lets each teacher know about her problems and asks to sit in the front row.

"I feel like no one should be discouraged for something that they don't have," she said. "It was an obstacle for me but it was something that I had to accept."

Julissa wasn't born deaf. She became mysteriously ill when she was five and was in the hospital for a year, as doctors struggled to find out what was wrong. It was one of the antibiotics that damaged the hair cells in the cochlea of her eardrum.

She had surgery for a cochlear implant. The medications made her overweight.

"It felt silent. It felt like there wasn't any sound in the world," Julissa recalled. "I couldn't hear cars moving or people talking. I felt that it was just going to be hard for me to communicate, and communication is key. And I love communicating so, I wouldn't be able to do that…"

At first, she went to Jean Weingarten Child Center in Redwood City, a school for the deaf where she met others like her and learned sign.

"We were all going through the same thing and to have a language, sign language, it made me feel special," she said. "Like our own little world, our own little community."

But when she entered mainstream school the teasing started.

"People would tell me I wasn't normal," she remembered. "I remember someone saying, oh, she has that thing behind her ears. It's like, she's different. She's different from everybody, she's not like us."

But the other kids didn't just tease her about her hearing; they teased her about her weight and, ironically, that may have had the most long-lasting effects.

"They would mock me for my size," said Julissa with tears in the corner of her eyes. "Like I didn't have a place in the world; that I wasn't a person and it wasn't a good feeling at all. I didn't like to go to school because I didn't want to deal with having people look at me."

"She felt rejected," said her mother. "It would break my heart."

"She was tremendously bullied and made to feel uncomfortable for her weight and her hearing and that over the years, she built up a sense of worthlessness and self blame and shame," Adler said. "I think what educators see and I think parents and community members are beginning to realize is that bullying … is an incredible problem … and that students like Julissa that are chronically bullied develop serious feelings of worthlessness and shame that it takes years to undo."

Yes, it did take years. So how did she undo it?

Much of the healing happened at home. Julissa's family would tell her not to be so down her herself for not being able to hear.

"It's actually one of your strengths," she said they would tell her. " It's something that makes you unique and different."

"So, that's when I realized that, you know, maybe they're right," said Julissa. "You know, that's why I feel special. I'm not weird I'm just different."

But the weight issue may have actually taken longer to heal. Going to a small, intimate school like Summit definitely helped. She had supporters.

"I've tried to tell her over and over and over again, you are worth it, you are valuable," Adler said.

And the biggest step forward came at school, when Julissa asked the founder of "Healthy is the New Skinny" to come speak at their school.

Katie Wilcox came and talked about her own experience overcoming body image problems and becoming a plus size model.

"She told me a lot of things that made me realize that this whole time I've been hating myself, just hating my body and not really like thinking straight and being healthy mentally," explained Julissa. "She told me that it wasn't worth it."

It resonated with Julissa and she found she wasn't alone. After the presentation, other girls came up and thanked her for setting it up.

"A lot of people, I noticed they were coming out of their shells," she said. "It just brought girls together."

Adler, Julissa's mentor, could see her changing.

"When I talk to her about how she perceives herself and her body, there's a humor, there's a sassiness. There's a pride … she has found within herself," Adler said.

We could certainly see that self confidence in her and her willingness to talk about her evolution; but what I noticed most talking with Julissa was her sweet, kind nature.

This is something her mother mentioned to us, as she described her daughter. "She has a big heart and she's very sweet," her mother said.

Julissa also has big responsibilities at home, as her mom works long hours, seven days a week as a caretaker. Everyday after school, Julissa goes to pick up her nephew who is four years old.

"I pick him up from school, I cook for him and I just can be a supportive aunt," she said.

Julissa has a five-year-old sister she takes care of as well.

"I have that sense of nurturing," says Julissa. "Almost like a mother nurture style with them and I feel like it's my responsibility to make sure that they're safe and they get everything they need."

Most of all, Julissa worries about how hard her mother has to work as a childcare provider. "She comes home very tired, but she does everything she can to provide for us," Julissa said.

The rent was raised a second time. Money is tight. With a college degree, Julissa's goal is to help out her mom.

"My hope is that I give back and I help her get everything back that she gave to me because she made everything possible for me," she said.

Her mother has the mirror image of that affection, wishing she had the education to help Julissa more with her homework.

"I keep telling her, she's going to get somewhere if she keeps it up," her mother said. "She works very hard."

This fall Julissa will become the first in her family to go to college.

"I learned that, despite all the challenges that have come your way, there is always a way to rise above them," she said.