Oakland Teen Takes Charge Of Family Amid Crises, Continues To Excel In School

OAKLAND (KPIX 5) -- Sometimes heroism is a quiet thing, a family thing.

Jessica Zepeda certainly doesn't think she did anything special. She didn't tell any of the other students at Mt. Eden High, what she did. So now, we tell.

You have to follow Jessica home to a rough part of East Oakland to really understand her story. Her little sister greeted us, showing us her toys - she is clearly a loved child. Jessica is unusually close to her little sisters for a profound reason. She has been taking care of them since she was 14, when their mother was diagnosed with leukemia.

Coming straight home from school, her duties would start. "I cooked for them, I changed them. I did their laundry," she explained about the smallest ones. There were six girls in all; one in kindergarten at the time and the smallest was only two.

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Jessica and her older sister were in charge for two years, while their mother was in and out of Stanford Medical Center in Palo Alto. For 100 days, she was in isolation waiting for a bone marrow transplant. For much of the time, because the distance and the lack of transportation, her children could not even see their mother.

Jessica would try not let the little ones know how frightened she was that they might lose their mother. "Every day, I would think about, she might die today. What will I do?" Jessica told us. "How will my sisters react? Will I have to be the one to be the bigger person and not cry in front of them, and let them be their shoulder to cry on?" She knew of course, that she would.

Their mom, Nona Montoya, is back at home now, but frail. Montoya calls it her "second chance." Jessica was her strength, she told us. "She would always say don't worry. We will be okay," said Montoya. "Even with these problems, we (the children) are growing." Jessica would hold her mother's hand tightly and calm her and tell her, "we don't know what will happen, but I am here."

Doctors say when someone gets cancer, the whole family gets it - but it's not just a health question. There was a domino effect in Jessica's home. Her mother couldn't work so they lost one income. Their father, a laborer, needed to be with his wife at the hospital much of the time, so he was not able to bring home a steady check. Rent was a big worry. "We didn't have money for the bus, for transportation, to eat, for all the things we needed for daily life," reflected Montoya. They lived month-to-month. When the late fees started stacking up, their father would go out to look for work, but he could only do that for short periods of time as his wife's needs allowed.

The eldest sister, Lirio, was at University of California, Davis at the time; recipient of the prestigious Gates Millennium scholarship. She quit college to go to work and help support the family. Lirio was the breadwinner, Jessica was the emotional glue. "She was very motherly, something that I'm not," Lirio said, describing Jessica. "More than anything, she is kind," added her mother.

But there was something else that emerged in Jessica that her family had not expected. "She took charge in moments of crisis," Lirio says. "For someone at 14, I really couldn't believe it." Her mother was also struck with Jessica's maturity, saying, "she was becoming an adult."

School was still a family priority, so Jessica worked hard to keep her grades up. She didn't tell anyone what was going on - not even her art teacher, her favorite. "She held it together so well. Seamless. I had no idea," Carrie King told us.

Jessica also made sure her sisters stayed on track academically. One of them has been offered a scholarship to go to a private high school. Lirio told us, she didn't think the girls would have done as well in school had it not been for Jessica.

Waiting for a bone marrow transplant was the most stressful time. "We became really terrified of that moment, if we were not able to find a donor, said Jessica. Lirio described for us what Jessica would say to calm her sisters. "She said we would continue as a family. that were going to do this together," remembered Lirio. "That no matter what happened to my mom, we would always have each other…there were things we couldn't control but we could control our unity as a family."

Even after their mother got a transplant and she was able to come home, there were still scares.

The worst day for Jessica was when she helped take her mom to the emergency room because she was having difficulty breathing. "In the ambulance, she told me she felt like that was her last day," remembered Jessica. "She felt like she was dying at that moment and she kept calling out my little sister's names … I wanted to cry, but I knew I had to be strong for my mom. Just to make her feel like she'll get through it."

Her mother remembered that ambulance ride and what Jessica said to her. "She would say 'Mommy, I am with you. You are not alone,'" said Montoya.

There is a special wisdom and grace that some people possess when they talk to patients who are gravely ill. Jessica had that gift, even as a 14-year-old. "I think a lot of people need to assure people that things will be OK," explained Lirio. "But she is someone that tells the truth; that, I'm not sure what's going to happen, but I'm here for you."

"She's got that old soul quality," King said, describing Jessica. "Just a genuine human being. There's not a shred of artifice or false bravado."

Jessica, of course, would never tell you any of these things about herself, which is why you see so many quotes in this story from those around her. She is totally unassuming, seeing her strength as just a necessary skill to help her family. She was much more willing to talk about her passion for coding, or her work bringing computer skills into the Latino community. In fact, her lasting lesson from her mother's illness, besides an immense appreciation for every moment she has with her, was the kindness and generosity the doctors and nurses showed her mother. "It gave me a purpose," said Jessica. "It just made me feel like I need to improve myself to become that person like those doctors … I want to push myself to help other people."

But my lasting impression of Jessica was her wisdom for someone so young; that gift of handling a life-threatening illness without superficiality or phony platitudes. Lirio described it as her ability to face the possibility of death with honesty and grace. "It's about that support, no matter what's going to happen, that she is there," said Lirio. "To acknowledge that and help people see that … things may not be OK, but we are going to continue forward whether it's with my mom or not, that there was still a lot more to live as a family, and a lot more to achieve."