TALE OF THE TAPE

More Impressive Stats? Denver Broncos Offense Vs. Playing Madden On “Easy”

The Denver Broncos, led by aging super-legend Peyton Manning, are putting up a season that’s not only surprisingly successful, but on pace to break some crazy impressive records. But how do the 2013 Broncos measure up against when I play Madden on easy? Let’s go to the tape.

Broncos Offense
Madden on "Easy"
Philadelphia Eagles v Denver Broncos
(Frederic J. Brown/AFP/GettyImages)
(Frederic J. Brown/AFP/GettyImages)
QB Stats Through Week 4?
Winner 1,470 yards, 16 TDs, 0 interceptions, 75% completion rate. Extrapolate this out and we get...5,880 yards and 64 touchdowns. Holy cow.
1,513 passing yards, 13 passing touchdowns, 312 rushing yards, 7 rushing touchdowns, but also totally and 100% fake.
Does This Team Even Make Sense?
Peyton Manning and Wes Welker in Denver? Travel back to 2010 and see if that makes sense. Also, please sell us the secret of time travel.
Winner Last time I played, I moved Aaron Rodgers, Larry Fitzgerald, Jimmy Graham and Adrian Peterson down to Mexico City to juego on the Mexico City Callaberos. So, no.
Best Case Scenario?
Winner If Manning can pull off a Super Bowl after severe neck surgery at 37, he’ll be padding the stats of a career that’s already arguably the best of all time.
Well, one time, I won the Super Bowl with a Vinny Testaverde-led Lions team on a 4th and Goal in the 4th quarter with 0:03 left on the clock. So probably that.
Worst Case Scenario?
The Broncos have a historical season, make it to the AFC Championship, then drop it at the last second to the New England Patriots in gut-wrenching fashion. To be perfectly clear, I’m a New England Patriots fan and this scenario is making me heartsick and sad.
Winner Hit the reset button?
Closest Comparison?
Winner 2007 Patriots. And, potentially, the completely insufferable - no, you know what? I hate them so much that I can’t even write their name. Just know that they’re named after a porpoise and they played in the early 70s.
Probably the Tecmo Super Bowl-era Bo Jackson.
Preseason Likelihood Of Success?
With a 37 year old Manning? Reasonable, at best.
Winner Good as any other. Besides, I could always knock down the difficulty if Darrelle Revis keeps picking me off.
Impressive?
Winner TOTALLY.
No.

The Winner Is

Philadelphia Eagles v Denver Broncos
Winner Broncos Offense
4 out of 7

In a close battle, the real-life Broncos beat out the video game franchise 4-3! Now let’s see if the Ponies can keep it up the rest of the season.

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

  1. Zito 2007 Contract Zito
    Barry Zito’s 2006 Giants Contract Vs. His 2015 A’s Contract

    In 2006, Barry Zito was the biggest free agent pitcher signing in MLB history. Eight Years later he’s trying out the team that originally drafted him, hoping for a chance to make a small fraction of his Giants contract. The veteran lefty says he’s playing now for the love of the game. A look at his pay cut will sure make you believe him. Check the numbers:

  2. (Tom Hauck/Getty Images) St Louis Cardinals v San Francisco Giants
    Tale Of The Tape: Willie Mays’ 1966 Contract Vs. Modern Baseball Salaries

    On February 11th, 1966 Willie Mays signed a $130,000 contract with the Giants. At the time, it was the highest in the league. Now the league MINIMUM is $500,000. How would Mays, one of the league’s all time greats, be paid if he were a free agent today? Let’s measure up.

  3. Tom Brady (Photo by George Rose/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Tom Brady Vs. Joe Montana

    If you grew up watching Bay Area football in the 1980’s you dreamed of matching the magic of Joe Montana (or even dressed like him for Halloween). Some of us have come closer than others. After another Super Bowl win, is San Mateo’s own Tom Brady finally there?

See All Tales of the Tape
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 58,920 other followers