TALE OF THE TAPE

One Broken Arm Later: Nate Burleson’s Pizza Vs. DiGiorno (It’s Not Delivery)

Nate Burleson's Pizza
DiGiorno
Delivery?
Winner Probably not. Unless he was the one delivering it. In which case, his agent’s gotta get him a new contract.
Not...sure. If only there was some resource to tell us whether or not DiGiorno was delivered or not.
Level of Risk?
One would assume “low”, but, well, here we are.
Winner Low.
Worst Risk of Injury?
Winner Burned tongue; crippling diarrhea.
An arm shattered in two places, apparently.
Ready for action after consumption?
November, best case scenario.
Winner The next day, unless he went heavy on the red pepper flakes.
Conspiracy Theory Moment?
Winner MAYbe...he got the pizza from an establishment owned by a Packers fan!
Winner MAYbe...it actually IS delivery! Wait, who cares?
Worth crashing a car over?
Winner Depends. Was it meat lovers?
Heavens, I can’t imagine.

The Winner Is

Winner Nate Burleson's Pizza
4 out of 6

With a score of 4-3, Nate Burleson’s fracture pizza somehow takes the edge! Looks like you party people had better stick to Elio’s.

-Brian Cullen, CBS Local Sports contributor

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

  1. Super Bowl LI Tale Of The Tape: Atlanta Falcons vs. New England Patriots

    The Patriots and Falcons meet in Houston in a battle of the league’s number 1 scoring offense and number 1 scoring defense.

  2. Conference Championship Tale: Pittsburgh Steelers at New England Patriots

    The Steelers and Patriots meet in Foxboro for the right to go to Super Bowl LI in Houston.

  3. Conference Championship Tale: Green Bay Packers at Atlanta Falcons

    Two MVP candidates at quarterback meet up in Atlanta for the right to go to Super Bowl LI in Houston.

See All Tales of the Tape

More From CBS San Francisco

Get The New CBS SF Bay Area Local App
Got Our Weather App?
Listen to Radio.com Anywhere, Anytime!

Listen Live