TALE OF THE TAPE

Tale Of The Tape: Ferris Bueller Vs. Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods announced he was not going to be able to participate in the U.S. Open. While we get he is injured – the fact he is taken the U.S. Open off has become a big news story. Which made us think – what would a day off with Tiger Woods look like?  Would it be better than taking the day off with Ferris Bueller?  Lets go to the tape.

View Comments
Ferris Bueller
Tiger Woods
ferris
(Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
(Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
Start To The Day
Lots of pre game – McGyvering entire room followed by licking palms and rewiring doorbell.
Winner Back Massage followed by counting money.
Eating Out
Winner Fine Dining - Chez Quis and its staff await your arrival.
Tiger's notorious for not leaving good tips – you'll pay and feel guilty about it.
Soaking in Culture
Winner Fine museums, sports events, a possible parade.
No chance of going to any public places.
Possible Third Wheel
Sloane Petterson or Cameron Frye – either would be a bonus.
Winner Lindsey Vonn
Getting Around Town
Winner Priceless 1961 Ferrari 250GT – less than 100 were made.
Used Buick with a busted rear window.
Chances of Getting Caught
Winner Just leave a key under the backdoor mat and we'll be fine.
Yeah – we won't go there.

The Winner Is

ferris
Winner Ferris Bueller
4 out of 6

Les jeux sont faits. Translation: the game is up. Ferris is the king of taking the day off and there is no doubt he is the right choice. Of course the question isn't what are you going to do. The question is what aren't you going to do?

View Comments

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

  1. Zito 2007 Contract Zito
    Barry Zito’s 2006 Giants Contract Vs. His 2015 A’s Contract

    In 2006, Barry Zito was the biggest free agent pitcher signing in MLB history. Eight Years later he’s trying out the team that originally drafted him, hoping for a chance to make a small fraction of his Giants contract. The veteran lefty says he’s playing now for the love of the game. A look at his pay cut will sure make you believe him. Check the numbers:

  2. (Tom Hauck/Getty Images) St Louis Cardinals v San Francisco Giants
    Tale Of The Tape: Willie Mays’ 1966 Contract Vs. Modern Baseball Salaries

    On February 11th, 1966 Willie Mays signed a $130,000 contract with the Giants. At the time, it was the highest in the league. Now the league MINIMUM is $500,000. How would Mays, one of the league’s all time greats, be paid if he were a free agent today? Let’s measure up.

  3. Tom Brady (Photo by George Rose/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Tom Brady Vs. Joe Montana

    If you grew up watching Bay Area football in the 1980’s you dreamed of matching the magic of Joe Montana (or even dressed like him for Halloween). Some of us have come closer than others. After another Super Bowl win, is San Mateo’s own Tom Brady finally there?

See All Tales of the Tape
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 58,913 other followers