TALE OF THE TAPE

Tale Of The Tape: USA Vs. Belgium

United States
Belgium
Statue of Liberty
belgica
World-Renowned Statue
Winner Statue Of Liberty - Lady Liberty is a goddess symbolizing freedom while towering 305 feet above New York Harbor. Few landmarks are more closely tied to any nation than this one. We love her, even if she was a gift from the French.
Manneken Pis – the 61 centimeter bronze statue of a child urinating is perhaps the most frequented tourist attraction in Belgium. Add to that the fact that they dress the child in costumes ranging from a Tour de France jersey to Mozart and we have to give them a 10 for creativity and a 0 for sanity.
Go-To Waffle
Eggo - They're ok I guess.
Winner Belgian - Powdered sugar and Nutella? That's just not fair.
Condiment of Choice
Winner Ketchup - We've got more packets of ketchup in our break rooms than they have people in their country. Don't make us bring back Freedom Fries to prove we own this category.
Mayonnaise - We'll admit, these guys make a good fry, but then they put mayo on it. We've got serious issues with that. Mayo should be used exclusively on burgers and to drown out any other flavor in your mom's potato salad.
Chocolate You Can Find Anywhere
Hershey's - Unless you are slapping a stick of this between two graham crackers with a gooey marshmallow then we're out. There are a lot of other chocolate options that taste more like chocolate.
Winner Godiva - Belgium is home to some of the world's best chocolatiers, but this one is the only one you've likely heard of here in the states. Does their silk ganache sound better than the "with almonds" option? Yeah, thought so.
Signature Beer
Winner IPA - There are over 300 craft breweries in California alone, we've got more double-hop concoctions than there were gun scenes in the film "In Bruges."
Winner Trappist - They have beer made by monks. If you don't think that's cool, there's no hope for you.
Coolness Of Uniforms
Winner Stripes but no Stars - The Where's Waldo red and white stripes look isn't going to make it on the pitch in Brazil, but having just come off ugly sweater party that is the Winter Olympics, you've got to be impressed by the wearability of the Team USA gear.
Black Devils? - Did they just rip off the Spanish team's uniforms? I guess Fernando Torres and crew aren't using them anymore, but still, the red devils wearing all black and yellow makes no sense.

The Winner Is

Statue of Liberty
Winner United States
4 out of 6

Belgium can hold it's own on the culinary front, but to whip up the nationalistic frenzy needed to move on in the World Cup, nothing beats an awe-inspiring monument and a set of uniforms that pair equally well with Kyle Beckerman's dreadlocks and Michael Bradley's glistening dome. Looks like team USA will be advancing to face either Argentina or the Swiss (nice, more chocolate) in the next round.

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

  1. ATLANTA, GA - JANUARY 22:  Matt Ryan #2 of the Atlanta Falcons looks to pass against the Green Bay Packers during the first quarter in the NFC Championship Game at the Georgia Dome on January 22, 2017 in Atlanta, Georgia.  (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images) FOXBORO, MA - JANUARY 22:  Tom Brady #12 of the New England Patriots throws a pass during the second half against the Pittsburgh Steelers in the AFC Championship Game at Gillette Stadium on January 22, 2017 in Foxboro, Massachusetts.  (Photo by Jim Rogash/Getty Images)
    Super Bowl LI Tale Of The Tape: Atlanta Falcons vs. New England Patriots

    The Patriots and Falcons meet in Houston in a battle of the league’s number 1 scoring offense and number 1 scoring defense.

  2. KANSAS CITY, MP - JANUARY 15:  Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger #7 of the Pittsburgh Steelers looks to throw a pass against the Kansas City Chiefs during the first quarter in the AFC Divisional Playoff game at Arrowhead Stadium on January 15, 2017 in Kansas City, Missouri.  (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images) FOXBORO, MA - JANUARY 14: Tom Brady #12 of the New England Patriots looks to pass in the second half against the Houston Texans during the AFC Divisional Playoff Game at Gillette Stadium on January 14, 2017 in Foxboro, Massachusetts.  (Photo by Jim Rogash/Getty Images)
    Conference Championship Tale: Pittsburgh Steelers at New England Patriots

    The Steelers and Patriots meet in Foxboro for the right to go to Super Bowl LI in Houston.

  3. ARLINGTON, TX - JANUARY 15:  Aaron Rodgers #12 of the Green Bay Packers drops back to pass during the first quarter against the Dallas Cowboys in the NFC Divisional Playoff game at AT&T Stadium on January 15, 2017 in Arlington, Texas.  (Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images) ATLANTA, GA - JANUARY 14:  Matt Ryan #2 of the Atlanta Falcons drops back to pass against the Seattle Seahawks during the game at the Georgia Dome on January 14, 2017 in Atlanta, Georgia.  (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)
    Conference Championship Tale: Green Bay Packers at Atlanta Falcons

    Two MVP candidates at quarterback meet up in Atlanta for the right to go to Super Bowl LI in Houston.

See All Tales of the Tape

More From CBS San Francisco

Get The New CBS SF Bay Area Local App
Got Our Weather App?
Listen to Radio.com Anywhere, Anytime!

Listen Live