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TALE OF THE TAPE

The Giants Losing To Carolina Vs. Little Mac Losing To Glass Joe In “Punch-Out”

Giants Losing
Little Mac Losing
Philadelphia Eagles vs  New York Giants
Next Generation Video Games Unveiled
Opponent’s Hometown
Charlotte, North Carolina. Oooo! It’s supposed to be lovely there!
Winner France. FRANCE. FRAAAAAAAA-
Opponent’s Record Before Match:
0-2
Winner 1-99
Predictable Offense?
Winner I don’t know if it’s predictable, but cripes is it boring.
He’s got about 5 punches to dodge, so yes.
Motivational Halftime Speech?
(unprintable)
Winner “Join the Nintendo Fun Club Today, Mac!”
Secret weapon?
Winner Throwing to Victor “Look at my stupid dance, I’m a jerk!” Cruz.
Pressing “Start” when he has a star punch.
Post Loss Quote?
Winner “Disappointing is not a strong enough word.”
Give up? Retire? Start training, make a comeback!
Future Implications?
Winner Maybe we can finally stop having the stupid “Which Manning is Better?” debate.
He’s doomed against Von Kaiser - nevermind Bald Bull or the second fight against Don Flamenco.

The Winner Is

Philadelphia Eagles vs  New York Giants
Winner Giants Losing
4 out of 7

Gloriously losing once again, the boring, listless Giants drop one to Little Mac and Glass Joe, 4-3. Having watched my beloved Patriots drop two awful Super Bowls to them, I gotta say: this defeat is pretty good.

-Brian Cullen, CBS Local Sports contributor

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