TALE OF THE TAPE

Which Is More Satisfying On Thanksgiving Day? NFL Football Vs. Thanksgiving Pie

Thanksgiving week! We hope you’re all enjoying a week of calm, measured discussions with your family, a nostalgic visit to your depressing hometown, and a good, long conversation with the guy from high school who still works at the Stop ‘n Shop.

When you’re not enjoying that, surely you’re taking part in all of the wonderful traditions of Thanksgiving, like turkey, stuffing, and every last drop of alcohol in your house. But of these, there are two that stand out from the pack – football, and pie. Which of these traditions takes a top spot in our hearts? Let’s go to the tape.

NFL Football
Thanksgiving Pie
(credit: Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)
(credit: FREDERIC J. BROWN/AFP/Getty Images)
(credit: Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)
(credit: FREDERIC J. BROWN/AFP/Getty Images)
Taste
…pain? Does football taste like pain? Let’s go with that.
Winner Sweet and crusty (which, incidentally was my nickname in high school). Even better with whipped cream!
Able To Be Enjoyed At 1 PM?
Winner Yep! The games start rolling at 12:30 PM EST.
Nope. You’ll get your hand slapped. Pie is for AFTER turkey, dummy!
How Quickly Does It Make Your Uncle Fall Asleep?
Winner It takes mere nanoseconds.
Winner Instantaneously.
Able To Win You Money (If Gambling Wasn’t Frowned Upon)?
Winner Yep!...hypothetically.
If that becomes a thing, I don’t want to know the unpleasant future where people gamble on pie.
Causes Instant Shame and Regret?
Winner nnnnNNNNOPE!
Every time.

The Winner Is

(credit: Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)
Winner NFL Football
4 out of 5

There you have it. With a score of 4-2, football remains the Thanksgiving champion we all deserve.
-Brian Cullen, CBS Local Sports contributor

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

  1. Zito 2007 Contract Zito
    Barry Zito’s 2006 Giants Contract Vs. His 2015 A’s Contract

    In 2006, Barry Zito was the biggest free agent pitcher signing in MLB history. Eight Years later he’s trying out the team that originally drafted him, hoping for a chance to make a small fraction of his Giants contract. The veteran lefty says he’s playing now for the love of the game. A look at his pay cut will sure make you believe him. Check the numbers:

  2. (Tom Hauck/Getty Images) St Louis Cardinals v San Francisco Giants
    Tale Of The Tape: Willie Mays’ 1966 Contract Vs. Modern Baseball Salaries

    On February 11th, 1966 Willie Mays signed a $130,000 contract with the Giants. At the time, it was the highest in the league. Now the league MINIMUM is $500,000. How would Mays, one of the league’s all time greats, be paid if he were a free agent today? Let’s measure up.

  3. Tom Brady (Photo by George Rose/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Tom Brady Vs. Joe Montana

    If you grew up watching Bay Area football in the 1980’s you dreamed of matching the magic of Joe Montana (or even dressed like him for Halloween). Some of us have come closer than others. After another Super Bowl win, is San Mateo’s own Tom Brady finally there?

See All Tales of the Tape
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 58,839 other followers