OAKLAND (CBS SF) – We hate to tell you this Raider fans, but Jack Bauer is trying to steal your team and give their new home the biggest “LA Vibe” you’ve ever felt.

Earlier this month, Kiefer Sutherland stepped in as pitch man on a promotional video touting the proposal to move the Raiders and Chargers into the slick new stadium in Carson. We’re now getting a look at the video that was originally shown to NFL executives. Check it out:

It’s hard to deny that the place looks a little more fan friendly than Qualcomm and the Coliseum, but right about the point Sutherland drops the line “in the Academy Suites, exclusivity reaches a new level” you have to ask yourself “is this place really designed for the Raiders? Did he really say the main bar is ‘a good place to…take a selfie?'”

The proposal doesn’t exactly cater to the blue collar group the you’d expect to find tailgating in Oakland. I mean, was there even one person wearing spiked shoulder pads in that entire video? Here are a few of the features that you definitely won’t see the next time you jump  off BART on Sunday to catch a game.

  • VIP valet parking complete with red carpet INSIDE THE STADIUM and separated from the regular folks by glass wall. Note the sad people peering it at the one minute mark.
  • “An authentic farmers market to bring local flavor to a time-honored tradition (tailgating).” Finally you won’t feel out of place wearing that Bo Jackson jersey to shop for honey!
  • A pre-game concert venue, because yes, everyone is looking for one more ticket to pay for on game day.
  • The Field Club at the Coliseum isn’t fancy enough for you? For enough cash, you’ll be able to enjoy the “Private club within a club” open to only VIP suite members. Are those gas fireplaces they have going during the game? There wasn’t room for a hot tub in each suite?
  • “The NFL’s largest on-field patio, blurring the line between spectator and fan.” What a perfect place for former Black Hole residents to grab a cosmo!

Jealousy aside, the facility looks amazing. But would the identity of the Raiders franchise fundamentally change if you put them in this stadium? Leave a comment below.

Bill Disbrow is the Managing Editor for cbsSF.com. Email Bill.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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